27 September 2006
It’s only paranoia if they’re not actually out to get you.
This summer’s hot and dry spell followed by warm and damp conditions have clearly been beneficial to weeds and wildlife. Like so many others we are overrun with Daddy Long Legs (legses?) and spiders.
If you’ve been to P’Soup before, you might remember that I’m pretty scared of spiders. Skin-crawlingly, stomach-wrenchingly, hyperventilatingly terrified, in fact. So you’d think that given I was so stressed and tense after my crappy day yesterday, that the Universe might smile on me and save me from having to face anything as awful as an arachnid, out of consideration for my already too-fast-beating heart.
I should be so lucky.
I was in the bedroom this morning (you just know that any post about spiders that starts ‘I was in the bedroom’ is going to be awful, right?) having just got dressed. Owen had had his shower and was about to dry his hair when I saw, creeping over his shoulder, the most enormous spider. Huge. Gigantic. All long, hairy legs and scary mouthparts. Time stood still and my vision just zoomed in on this outrageously large spider. Did I mention that this was a big spider? I did? Good.
Given that Owen is pretty scared of spiders too (he won’t be able to read this post thanks to this picture), ordinarily I would contain my horror, take a deep breath and carefully, calmly tell him to take his dressing gown off before telling him why so that he wouldnâ€™t get all scared. Not today. I was so hyped up from yesterday and a bad night’s sleep that I went pale, screamed, â€˜Oh. My. Godâ€™ and started shaking. This, in turn, frightened the life out of Owen who must have thought there was a murderer standing behind him with an axe above his head. He started hopping around, shaking himself, yelling â€˜What? What is it? Oh my God, what is it?â€™ then ripped off his dressing gown and threw it on the floor, the spider somewhere underneath.
The whole scenario must have taken 2 seconds max, but it felt like an eternity. Afterwards we practically wet ourselves laughing, but Iâ€™m a wreck.
And the spider? Well, we looked under the dressing gown and in the folds of the dressing gown and under the bed and around the room, but it’s disappeared.
I think we might sleep downstairs tonight.
Filed under: Wildlife — Clare @ 11:50 am