27 September 2006
It’s only paranoia if they’re not actually out to get you.
This summer’s hot and dry spell followed by warm and damp conditions have clearly been beneficial to weeds and wildlife. Like so many others we are overrun with Daddy Long Legs (legses?) and spiders.
If you’ve been to P’Soup before, you might remember that I’m pretty scared of spiders. Skin-crawlingly, stomach-wrenchingly, hyperventilatingly terrified, in fact. So you’d think that given I was so stressed and tense after my crappy day yesterday, that the Universe might smile on me and save me from having to face anything as awful as an arachnid, out of consideration for my already too-fast-beating heart.
I should be so lucky.
I was in the bedroom this morning (you just know that any post about spiders that starts ‘I was in the bedroom’ is going to be awful, right?) having just got dressed. Owen had had his shower and was about to dry his hair when I saw, creeping over his shoulder, the most enormous spider. Huge. Gigantic. All long, hairy legs and scary mouthparts. Time stood still and my vision just zoomed in on this outrageously large spider. Did I mention that this was a big spider? I did? Good.
Given that Owen is pretty scared of spiders too (he won’t be able to read this post thanks to this picture), ordinarily I would contain my horror, take a deep breath and carefully, calmly tell him to take his dressing gown off before telling him why so that he wouldn’t get all scared. Not today. I was so hyped up from yesterday and a bad night’s sleep that I went pale, screamed, ‘Oh. My. God’ and started shaking. This, in turn, frightened the life out of Owen who must have thought there was a murderer standing behind him with an axe above his head. He started hopping around, shaking himself, yelling ‘What? What is it? Oh my God, what is it?’ then ripped off his dressing gown and threw it on the floor, the spider somewhere underneath.
The whole scenario must have taken 2 seconds max, but it felt like an eternity. Afterwards we practically wet ourselves laughing, but I’m a wreck.
And the spider? Well, we looked under the dressing gown and in the folds of the dressing gown and under the bed and around the room, but it’s disappeared.
I think we might sleep downstairs tonight.
Filed under: Wildlife — Clare @ 11:50 am
Ack!! That’s awful!
I am mostly freaked out by spiders, but after gardening and seeing them outdoors so much, I don’t mind seeing them there…but when they are in my home where they don’t belong, that’s another story.
(27.09.06 @ 4:14 pm)
*shudder* A similar thing happened to me years ago – I was halfway down the stairs when I reached round to scratch the tickle at the back of my neck when my hand came back with a huge spider – cue scream! Why do they like dressing gowns so much?
(27.09.06 @ 9:55 pm)
EEEK ! I also hate spiders, we stayed in our caravan on the weekend and all the beasties seem to be looking for somewhere warm to bed down for the winter, unfortunately one huge spider thought my duvet was a good place my husband duly rescued me and it. However the next night my 3yr old and hubby played an awful trick on me – they put a big toy spider on my pillow – I pulled the duvet back and there it was my daughter thought it was hilarious – she said I’ll save you mammy and threw it across the caravan – friends like these !
(28.09.06 @ 9:31 am)
How on earth can you be scared of spiders when you come face to face with slugs and snails every time you go to your allotment?? They are far, far worse, with their slithery, slimy bodies and their little waving tentacles. And those fragile little shells which crunch when you put your foot down. Hard.
(28.09.06 @ 11:58 am)
This is what I like about the internet – making contact with like-minded people!!
Soo – it’s true what you say about slugs and snails, but while they are a huge nuisance, they just don’t scare me. I wouldn’t pick one up with my bare hands, but I’ve yet to meet the slug that makes me scream. Besides, spiders move fast. And can jump. Brrrr!
(28.09.06 @ 12:14 pm)
I pick ‘em up – slimey, yes but at least they have less legs & eyes than me so scary they are not!
(28.09.06 @ 2:10 pm)
EEEPPP!
It’s nice to see fellow gardeners with the same fears. I too can’t stand them, on hols the other week I had to get a friend to remove a spider that was happily sitting on my duvet only to get into bed and discover two more sitting on the ceiling staring and quite possibily laughing at me as I wimper and tremble. And all this happened just after another friend was telling a story about how she was bitten by a spider while in South Africa and her whole body came out in boils. My dreams were bad that night.
Slugs and Snails don’t have a patch on spiders, although I really can’t pick up a slug – I’m not good with goo
(01.10.06 @ 11:44 pm)
Ewww! Spiders and beds. Not a good combination. Brrrr!
(05.10.06 @ 6:06 pm)
never been to this site but found it looking for info on spiders, anyways last night i was sitting down crisscrossed playing a computer game on my bed and movement beyond the screen caught my eye it was a spider common in my house thats part of the hobo family and im terrified of them, so i start throwing fig newtons at it trying to kill it, and it runs behind my dresser so im freaked out, and am deciding whether or not i should bunk in the livingroom, when all of a sudden i see it on my bed. i grabbed my pillow and tried to kill it and hit it off and saw it retreat back to the dresser, so i put on my shoes and stand infront of the dresser kinda marching in place so it doesnt get on me if im not looking when it suddenly runs at me i jump at it and it again goes to the dresser, at that point i say out loud eff this, and grab my computer and everything ill need the next day. and set off to the living room. ive still not seen it again. and im in the same room where this happend, looking around like a crazy man as i type this. ill update if i see it again.
(09.09.09 @ 9:01 am)